Every word matters

A little boy. Ohio, c. 1942. (photographed by John Vachon; Library of Congress photo).

A teacher reached out to colleagues to ask for help with her African-American males.

That’s what she said: “my African-American males.” Not male students — just “males.”

I applaud this teacher, who happens to be white, for asking for help in order to learn more about the experience of her students and how she can mentor them more effectively. Step one is to stop using the word “males” to identify them.

Technically, the word is correct, in the sense that calling a crowd of people, “members of the species homo sapiens” is also correct. But it’s coldly technical and adds distance.

The only situation where it’s necessary to use the word “males” as a noun referring to human beings is when you are indicating a group that consists of both men and boys, and you don’t want to say “men and boys.”

However, in a country where black boys are seen as older and less innocent than their white peers, blurring the distinction between boys and men is of real concern.

Further, it’s dehumanizing to use a word that, in its noun form, is more appropriately used to refer to animals. We would say of birds of paradise, “the males engage in a courtship display.” It would be absurd to say that “the men” do this — we use the word men to refer to humans only. So why is still another teacher using the phrase “successful African-American males” instead of simply “successful African-American men”? The former sounds silly, but that’s not the biggest issue: It’s in line with a long history of using animal-related language and imagery to oppress other human beings.

This teacher is working with middle schoolers — kids ages eleven to fifteen. They are distinctly boys. Let’s use that word.

The difference is immediate: “I’m looking for support in working with African-American boys.” Do you feel it?

Sometimes, these types of distinctions get brushed off as simply semantics. But as Seth Godin points out, “The way we process words changes the way we act.” The meaning of each and every word matters. Subtle differences in language can carry loads of meaning.

Our choice of words offers clues about our attitudes, biases, self-image, and inner narrative. When we encounter a problem, examining not only the story we are telling but also the words themselves can help us to grow and change.