Earning our way into it
If you’re an American wishing to visit Germany, all you have to do is provide proof of vaccination and a negative Covid test, fill out a digital registration, and quarantine for several days after your arrival. (Image by Karsten Bergmann)
The first time I taught a piano lesson, I had never taught a piano lesson before.
After I taught that lesson, I was a piano teacher. And then I taught more lessons, until I eventually reached a threshold of being an experienced piano teacher.
I wasn't exceptionally good at the beginning, but I was good enough. And that, in fact, was all that was necessary. I’m grateful that people asked me to teach them piano so that I didn’t have to put myself out there. I’m not sure I would have done it.
There are disciplines that require certification or special training. For the rest, the lack of oversight from any governing body means that individual practitioners are the ones who must decide whether they are qualified. As a result, many of us remain in a perpetual state of imposter syndrome until we decide to let go of it and own our position. I propose that we can hasten this process if we acknowledge that's what's happening in the first place.
From our early experiences with compulsory school, we learn that whatever we do must be earned. In the United States, we have to attend thirteen years of school in order to receive our high school diploma. We then have to go to school for two or four more years to earn a college degree.
Throughout that process, we had teachers who were certified by the state to teach in their subject area.
Thus, we learn that whatever we do, we must participate in a lengthy process of earning our way into it.
The irony is that most of what's required of students is simply to show up. Once students reach a certain age, they can either drop out of school or hang in there for another couple of years to receive their diploma. Much of school exists because we don't know what else to do with adolescents.
On the flip side, a person who's spent the past two decades as an engineer at NASA is not considered qualified to teach high school physics unless she goes through a state-specific certification process (including, in California, two semesters of study of the U.S. Constitution, or passage of a test on the subject). And even if she teaches in one state and builds up experience, she's not necessarily permitted to teach in another state.
The gates that keep people out of (or in) a system are often arbitrary.
We would do well to keep this in mind as we look at all the places in our lives and careers where we consciously or unconsciously believe that we need to earn something—a certain status or certification—before we can have it.
One of my favorite examples is a website. Many would-be small business owners believe that in order for their business to be legitimate, they need a website (preferably a custom one that has been professionally designed). But for a business to be legitimate, all it needs is a customer. And a website can be obtained in twenty minutes by signing up on one of the user-friendly platforms like Wix, Weebly, or Squarespace.
Unfortunately, some of us wait years (no exaggeration) to launch, delaying until we have the perfect website.
Another example of this unnecessary delay is the notion that we have to love ourselves before we can love someone else. That we somehow earn our readiness for a relationship by a process of self-actualization.
While an emotionally unhealthy person is unlikely to be a great partner, the idea of "loving ourselves" is a bit abstract. Further, there is no certification body to prove that you have achieved the goal of self-love. As a matter of fact, personal growth is an ongoing process which is never complete. Might as well find love somewhere along the way.
Any success I have had in my life came because I didn't ask for permission or validation—I did the thing. Meanwhile, my frustrations and disappointments were generally the result of waiting around for conditions to be right, for someone else to approve, or for poorly defined prerequisites to be met. In my best moments, I had the confidence to step forward even when I wasn't sure of the outcome.
Regulations have a purpose. They keep us safe. They slow us down. But that's also why we shouldn't have them unless they are necessary. The things we dream of doing usually aren't safe, in the sense of being comfortable or risk-free. That's not always a reason to avoid doing these things. The reward might well be worth the pain.
We don't have to go through a lengthy process of yak-shaving just to pursue our heart's desire. Yes, there may be gates and gatekeepers. We can respect the ones that exist while recognizing that the others are our own invention. What if there's nothing holding us back?
