You probably know how to solve your problem

Even when it’s actually rocket science, problems can be anticipated and solved. (NASA photo)

Many struggling math students hate word problems. The well-written ones require you to demonstrate an understanding of what you’re doing instead of simply carrying out the procedure that you’re clinging onto for dear life. The struggling math students don’t believe that they have this understanding, so they shut down.

To trick them into discovering their competence, we substitute easier numbers.

Maybe my student can’t figure out how many jelly beans are left if Chen gave Chamari 2/3 of her 645 jelly beans and then gave Chester 1/5 of the rest. He claims that he doesn’t even know where to begin.

But if I say that Chen gave Chamari 2/3 of her 30 jelly beans and then gave Chester 1/2 of the rest, my student will easily and intuitively calculate the answer.

This shows me that he understands the concepts intuitively; it’s just the scary numbers that are tripping him up. This has happened so consistently that it’s completely changed the way I teach math.

Let’s extend this, metaphorically, to whatever problem you’re trying to solve in your life. If you can see past the emotion, the circumstances, and the complications, you probably know exactly how to solve your problem. The solution is just obscured under layers of complexity and nuance.

For example, one of my students was struggling with a peer who kept calling her and trying to get her to date this other classmate. She was so tired of dealing with it.

My colleague asked her what she wanted.

“I just want her to stop calling me,” the student said.

My colleague politely suggested that the student block the other girl’s phone number.

“Whoa, I never even thought of that,” said the student.

Go ahead and chuckle — but I bet you can look back at your life and find, in retrospect, a situation in which you should have done the exact same thing and didn’t. I know I can. When you strip away the specifics, the basic mechanics of your problem are revealed. It becomes a lot easier to figure out how to solve it.

People who love drama actually relish the complex web of relationships and misinformation that distorts what would otherwise be a simple interaction between two individuals. A conversation becomes theater. That’s when a clear-cut choice becomes weeks of wailing, “I don’t know what to doooooooooo!” to six different friends and a therapist.

We can do the same thing with other problems, be they financial, health-related, or work-related. That’s why we consult experts in these areas: They can look at the problem objectively and create a plan for us without being distracted by details or the backstory.

If we can reduce our problem down to its core elements, then just like the math students, we will find that we can intuit a solution. Taking action is another matter — doing that may require all of the courage and fortitude we can muster. What’s simple is not necessarily easy. But knowing how to solve the problem is the first step along the way, and you’re probably closer than you think.