They notice

The looks of adoration may fade by adolescence, but the need for love and connection persists. (Image by Kevin Phillips)

Here are some uncomfortable truths:

Kids notice when their lives change due to divorce and breakups.

They notice when their teacher is dismissive or bored.

They notice when their parents wish they would do different extracurricular activities.

They notice when the teacher calls on six boys (or six girls) in a row.

They notice when the adults have been arguing.

They notice when their choices have disappointed their parents or teachers.

They notice when their friend’s mom is home after school.

They notice when they don’t have your full attention.

They notice when their teacher doesn’t have authority in the classroom.

They notice when their mom is in a bad mood.

They notice when they haven’t seen their dad for six weeks.

They notice when their mom is gone on a business trip. Or when both parents are gone on business trips at the same time and can’t come to the awards ceremony.

They notice everything. And while we adults don’t have to be perfect, we do need to be aware. We can’t lie to ourselves and believe that what we do doesn’t affect the children and adolescents we care about. It always does.