The kids are gonna be alright

It’s not the end of the world. (Image by Juraj Varga)

Did you hear? School is canceled for the rest of the year. It’s happened in Virginia and Georgia…and soon, many other places will follow.

I’m hearing from many parents who are deeply concerned about the losses their children are experiencing, from the inability to play with their friends to the cancellation of high school graduation ceremonies. These are losses to be grieved and respected. But there is an additional layer of fear that parents have, which is that the emotional impact will cause long-term harm.

I’m not a psychologist, so I can’t speak with authority on this one way or another. But I know human nature and I know history. I’ve often been amazed at the fortitude of people facing difficult circumstances. From European Jews during World War II to poor Oklahomans in the Dust Bowl in the 1930s to those who were terribly injured in the Boston Marathon bombing, empathizing with such suffering is intense but also instructive. Because when called to do so, human beings can overcome terrible and terrifying things and be stronger for it.

Therefore, I predict that this generation of kids will turn out to be more resilient than we may have previously thought. That’s because they are growing as a result of the painful circumstances — they are becoming more resilient with each day that passes.

Right now, we can’t protect our children from hardship, and we will waste precious energy and exhaust ourselves if we try. Instead, let’s develop our own fortitude, learning to accept fear and uncertainty as a part of daily life and focusing on what we have control over. As people have done for millennia, let’s find moments of joy and good humor in the midst of pain and chaos.

We adults may be terribly disappointed that our kids’ spring season isn’t what it was supposed to be. But who are we to say what was supposed to happen? After decades of practice, we’ve gotten used to the way things have always been. It’s understandable that it’s hard to let go of that. The brutal truth is that we have no choice right now.

The kids are quickly accepting their new reality. They may not need our help for that part and can even teach us how to do it. Together, we can create space for something new to emerge from this dark time. I believe that we’ll be astonished at what the next generation will do and who they will become in the years ahead.