It’s an irony of life that the more desperate you are for a thing that you want, the more elusive that thing is.

And when you already have plenty, it’s easy to come by.

How do you get from one state to the other? I believe that such a shift is related to a shift in our habits. And while changing our habits is difficult, it’s a worthy effort that can allow us to transform aspects of our very identity that we thought were immutable.

Read More

Wow! Eleven. Last year you were double digits, but this year, you’ve got three syllables!

Eleven is a great age. You’re still a kid. You’re still allowed to play on the playground. And at the same time, you’re also very capable. You can play a musical instrument, you can build insanely complex LEGO structures, and you can express sophisticated ideas.

Read More

Years ago, my sister tricked her kids into eating broccoli by passionately pleading, “Please don’t eat my trees!”

They gleefully stuffed vegetables into their mouths while she wailed, “Noooo! Where will all the birds live?”

At a family dinner recently, I tried this on another nephew, age three, who was reluctant to continue his meal when there were so many other interesting things to do. I’m pleased to report that it worked instantly and repeatedly. He got that look on his face like, “Oh, we’re playing a game here,” and joined me in the improv comedy, eating all the food on his plate.

Read More

I remember the exact moment when I decided to be a straight-A student…and the moment when I decided not to be anymore.

At the end of the first marking period in ninth grade, a giant bulletin board was posted. It showed the honor roll students in each grade along with their pictures.

There was a section for those who received A’s and B’s — and another section for those who received only A’s. I was one of only three freshman to get all A’s.

Read More

How much of what we do in school is intrinsically valuable?

I would argue that everything should be, but often, it’s not.

School conditions us to do the minimum to please the teacher. Very little of what we do is actually worth anything on its own. What a waste of time.

When I solve a problem or a puzzle, I feel a sense of accomplishment that is my own. When I play a piece of music, it is ephemeral but still hopefully brings a moment of satisfaction to those who hear it. And when I finish reading a book, I have expanded my world. Perhaps I can even use these new insights to serve others in some way.

Read More