My niece, age four, was practicing her letters. It was not going well.

“This is is the [most] tewwible W I’ve evew seen!” she said angrily, already imposing unrealistic expectations upon herself at her tender age.

This is normal behavior for a four-year-old, but it is nonetheless painful to witness. As an adult, I wish I could have helped her to understand that it’s okay to create letters that aren’t perfect—there is no reason that she should feel bad about herself. But that’s not the kind of thing you can tell somebody. They have to figure it out for themselves.

Read More

Transformation is an experience both magical and unsettling.

Suddenly, the world you thought you knew is remapped. Like a bougie kitchen renovation, what was once familiar is made new, and even what has stayed the same is unrecognizable in its new context. We feel so different that everything around us feels different, too.

In such a situation, we might want to start over, with fresh eyes and a fresh perspective. However, this can be just as deceptive as the illusion we now believe we’ve left behind.

Read More

When people study music, they are often taught to read notes at the same time as they are learning their instrument.

Thus, is possible to play zillions of musical pieces in this way without ever actually learning how music works. You just play what’s in front of you without ever having to think about it.

If you want to learn the hidden architecture of music, the easiest way to do it is to get rid of the printed sheet music and start learning songs by ear, beginning with songs that follow a very simple melodic or harmonic structure.

Read More

My mind was blown when I figured out I could fix mistakes in my knitting.

Even if I saw a mistake several rows back, I didn’t have to rip everything out. I didn’t even have to rip out all the rows between me and my mistake. I could simply release a stitch or two, do some surgery, and then it would be like the mistake never happened.

Since I make lots of mistakes, this is something I’ve gotten pretty good at.

Of course, there are some mistakes for which repair would take several hours — or it’s just straight-up impossible. Hopefully these mistakes are also in the category of “no one would notice this but the pattern designer” or “I have to hunt to find that twisted stitch anyway.” I let them go.

Read More

Funny how the impulse to tidy takes hold when there’s something even less appealing to take care of.

That less-appealing thing might be our most important work, but we don’t feel worthy of it. We’ve locked it away in a fortress like the princess in Super Mario 3, buried beneath many layers of to-dos. We have to clean off the desk, water the plants, put the kids through college.

What I’ve learned in my moments of inspired action is that it’s possible to bypass my rules and preconceptions about getting things done and dig right in on the most important project. The only big scary monster guarding the castle is the one created by my own mind.

Read More