Prerequisites for satisfaction

All I have to do to feel like I had a good summer is go for a swim in a lake at least once. (Spring River Lake, Maine, August 2021)

It’s such a luxury to have a well-stocked kitchen, isn’t it?

It’s a joy to be able to walk in and prepare virtually anything in my normal repertoire of snacks and meals. I’ve got baby carrots, minced garlic, poblano peppers, my favorite brand of peanut butter (Teddie), and on down the list.

All I have to do to create this result is go to the grocery store, buy the stuff, and bring it home. Even though supply chain disruptions, seasonal variations, and the weather sometimes make it a little more complicated than that, it’s still incredible that this vast array of goods can be found less than a mile away.

And yet, I can’t tell you how many times I have begun the week by having to scavenge for breakfast and lunch items because I didn’t go to the grocery store when I needed to. The stress of not having the right items to eat leads to the stress of being undernourished, spending too much money on takeout, and so on. Instead of a virtuous cycle of increased well-being created by a simple errand, I’m drawn into a spiral of discomfort and misery brought on by procrastination.

The belief that I don’t have the time or energy to go to the grocery store is a false economy. I don’t have the time or energy not to go to the grocery store. I am pleased to say that, after only a few decades of life, I have finally figured this out and can act accordingly. The best part is that I feel so great following through on taking care of myself and my household that it creates even more value from going. “Look at me, making time to go to the grocery store before we are forced to consume the year-old bagels and corn in the freezer! I’m amazing!”

What I’ve discovered is that a basic prerequisite for satisfaction with my life is having food in the pantry and refrigerator. The benefits of a proactive grocery store routine compound; likewise, the stress caused by having an irregular or unpredictable routine also compounds. The downstream gain or cost is disproportionate to the input.

This dynamic is very clear when it comes to grocery shopping. I’ve also seen it at play in the realm of packing for an outing (gotta have sunscreen, bug spray, and a hoodie in case it gets cold!), planning ahead for deadlines, and getting enough sleep. When I get it right, life is good and gets better; when I get it wrong, I’m scrambling just to keep up (plus, I’m grouchy and uncomfortable all the while).

Some choices represent fundamental crossroads in life. I’m glad I didn’t take up smoking, and I regret buying that house in 2007. Not all of the implications of a given choice are obvious at the outset, but I’m becoming more attuned to the relationship between a given choice and its direct and indirect effects. I’m drinking more water, eating less sugar, and checking my motor oil regularly. None of these moves are glamorous, but I’m becoming more discerning about what matters and what I can let go. That is a habit that, in itself, will have a positive long-term effect on my satisfaction.

What are some of your prerequisites for satisfaction, especially those that lead to a virtuous cycle? Which ones are embarrassingly obvious? Which are more subtle and took you longer to figure out? I’d love to hear.