How effective are your questions?
Asking for help is one of the hardest things we have to do to overcome a culture of being afraid to look dumb. It is an act of courage and a move toward growth.
Often, the starting point is simply, “I don’t get it” or “I’m stuck.” And because I understand the strength it takes for most of us to reach out and ask for support, I will always engage with these implicit questions as best I can when it they are asked of me.
That said, these cries for help are indeed only the starting point. From mentors such as Mandi Ellefson and Seth Godin, I’ve learned that asking better questions is a powerful way to move forward. Once the right question is formed, you’re well on the road to answering it yourself. At the very least, you’ll make it easier for someone else to offer guidance.
Suppose I don’t understand how a motor works. If I approach the car genius in my life with “I don’t get it,” I am setting myself up for a long lecture that will probably leave me more lost than before. To formulate a more specific question, I would spend some time studying diagrams, reading articles, or watching videos about how an engine works. Even though the volume of information may be overwhelming, I can find a clearer specific question that addresses a hole in my knowledge: “How does a spark plug work?” If I can get ahold of this concept, I can build toward an understanding of the entire system.
If I’m stuck in some aspect of a project, simply stating, “I’m stuck” to a person who can help me is asking them to do a lot of work on my behalf. In order to understand how I’m stuck and how to help me get moving again, they’re going to ask me questions. Therefore, even though I’m happy to receive help, I can practice asking such questions on my own. “What do I know? What do I need to know? What am I afraid of? What do I want? What is the ideal outcome?” All of these questions will trigger my creativity and problem-solving skills. By the time I’ve answered my own questions, I might have discovered exactly what I need to do to move forward. If not, I’ll at least have a clear and specific question for to ask someone else. “How do I choose a college admissions essay topic?” “Which of these two themes should I use for my website?” “Which company should I choose as the corporate sponsor for Victorian-style carnival?” A bit of advice and I’m on my way.
Asking good questions is actually a lot of work. But that work doesn’t just lead us to the question — it advances us toward the answer, too. For more effective learning, make it a habit to practice finding (and asking) better questions.
What is one question you could ask to help you move forward?