What I've learned about managing my energy during the pandemic

Marching band: energizing or exhausting? (State Library of Queensland)

One thing I’ve learned in this pandemic is that time is not my obstacle when it comes to getting things done. It’s energy.

It wasn’t hard to figure this out in the painful hours sitting at my computer, desperately trying to stay awake even after a full night’s sleep. I just didn’t have much of anything to work with, and no way that I knew of to fully make it better. I was like an old battery that couldn’t hold a charge for long.

As precious a resource as time is, my energy is the thing that I guard the most carefully. And during this protracted period of reduced inputs, I’ve had the chance to experiment with a habits, as though I were a rat in a carefully designed experiment. And I’ve learned a lot about myself and what gives me energy.

Back when I first started out as administrator of my music school, I craved time away from people so that I could tackle my email and bookkeeping and so on. With so many meetings, I had little opportunity for “real work,” and it was a constant source of stress and anxiety (i.e., an energy drain).

As I was able to hand off more of the administrative tasks to others, I found myself excited about meetings again, whether they were with prospective clients or students. With too much time free during the day, waiting for my lessons to start, I lacked a clear direction and wore myself out. The time by myself was now more draining than the time spent with others.

After a year or so of this listlessness, I started the Little Middle School. I became energized by spending time working on a new project and being around adolescents. I was learning new things and challenging myself. At this point, it’s hard to imagine running a school by myself, but it was indeed the result of these factors that I was able to do so.

Inevitably, I got tired and began to see signs of burnout after the first 18 months or so. I sought help so that I could retreat to my office and close the door for periods of time. I would catch up on work and enjoy the feeling of being blissfully alone. With the support of my team, I was able to find some balance. I cherished the time with our students, especially playing music with them, and I made some time for solitary work as well. And when I started to drag, there was a vacation around the corner (a major perq of teaching school). I could go see my family or visit a foreign country and come back feeling refreshed. It worked for a long time.

After six or seven years of this work, I was ready for a new challenge, so I started a new business. However, I still wanted to stay connected to the classroom. Unfortunately, the pandemic hit and made that impossible. so was traveling to see my family or visit a foreign country. When I got tired of working on my email and bookkeeping, there was nowhere else to go. A walk on the beach, maybe, but that’s it. No respite from the loneliness or the stress of the pandemic. I just had to keep slogging through it.

From the experiences I described above, I had discovered that I’m energized by novelty, learning new things, and spending time with others — plus rest. My optimal well-being would always come from a balance of these factors. I had to figure out how to find that balance amidst the constraints I was facing.

So I began to experiment. I learned that time in person with other humans—even a brief masked conversation with the person scanning my groceries—was energizing. However, Zoom calls were draining. Phone calls were energizing, as long as I was moving. Physical activity was always energizing. A messy house or even a messy desk was draining—a tidy one was energizing. Hobbies were energizing. Creative work (i.e., making things) was energizing. Music, whether played or listened to, was energizing. Driving was draining, but seeing new places—even boring ones—was energizing.

Working at the computer was and is almost always draining these days. I thought movement would fix that problem, so I got a treadmill desk. Interestingly, it did not seem to help. However, I’ve discovered that if I’m able to build up some reserves of energy through time spent with others, enjoying some hobbies, or going for a walk, I can “cash in” that energy at the computer and get some work done.

Without energy, no matter how much time I have, I don’t really accomplish much. When people are depending on me, that’s a problem. Therefore, I have to be careful what I pay attention to and what I spend that energy on. An unexpected problem can derail me for a few hours. On the other hand, just checking something off of my to do list can produce a pleasant surge of energy for the next task. It’s a dance.

One of the best days of the winter was a boat launch at the Apprenticeshop. There we were, a few dozen of us on the waterfront in 30-degree temps. We were masked, but there was party food and camaraderie. When I got home, I couldn’t believe how alert and alive I felt. I was restored to myself. I can’t wait for more days like that. They’re coming.

When I finish writing this, my energy will probably be pretty good. I’m at the computer, but I’m doing creative work; I’m alone, but I’m talking to you. That connection has been precious indeed, and I’m grateful for it. This season of hardship would have been so much harder without that.

So as a result of the time spent on my blog this morning, I’ll hopefully be able to tackle the hard things on my list. I’ve got plenty of time—what I really need is the energy, and I know what I need to do to get it and keep it. If all else fails, coffee. Wish me luck.

And how about you? What do you find energizing? What do you find draining? Have these patterns changed at all during the pandemic? I’d love to hear.