Do what you like

Rowing, or a rowing machine? Or perhaps curling up with a good book instead? (State Library of New South Wales)

I’m not sure who we have to blame for it. The Puritans? The media? Regardless of where it came from, so many of us have the same problem: We think that doing something worthwhile has to be difficult.

Consider exercise. So many people say that the hate working out. Honestly, if the only way that I could get exercise was to show up at a gym and operate some machinery in a fluorescent-lit room, I would hate working out too. But there are lots of different ways to stay fit. Gardening, building stuff, hiking, playing games…there are a million ways to get some exercise while having fun or accomplishing something meaningful. Why do so many of us assume it has to be miserable?

Some people hate running. I happen to really enjoy it, but I can understand why people find it unpleasant. Ideally, the people who find running miserable should play a sport in which running involves chasing a ball instead of simply going down the road and then turning around and heading back to where you came from. That’s enough for some of us, but if you don’t like it, there’s nothing wrong with you. Do something else.

Too often, we find ourselves doing things for the results that they bring to us, rather than the intrinsic joy of doing them. Life is too short for this. A better way to go would be to focus on getting the desired results by doing something that we actually enjoy, instead of persevering out of a misplaced sense of duty.

I understand that it would be coming from a place of absurd privilege to suggest that instead of going for a walk, we should go skiing or golfing. But actually, I think it’s less about any particular activity being intrinsically desirable or valuable and more about listening to our personal preferences, even when those might contradict the conventional wisdom or surprise us with their specificity.

In other words, even if an activity requires expensive equipment and people travel all over the world to take part in it, it may not be more appealing to you.

For example, when I found myself in the position of needing a job, I sought out work in restaurants rather than retail. Sure, working in a restaurant is often dirty, smelly, work with an unpredictable income, but to me, it is preferable to the predictable, tidy environment of a retail store. There is nothing intrinsically more worthy about working in a retail store over a restaurant. I have to acknowledge that it is my personal preference that makes restaurant work a better choice for me. I didn’t force myself to continue to work at a retail store based on the erroneous assumption that, because I didn’t like it, it must be the more virtuous path. I quit and found a job I liked better.

As you’re reading this, it may seem obvious that we should choose things to do that we enjoy, both for work and for play. However, I see countless examples all the time of people who choose the harder path simply because it is the harder path. If that is what you call fun, then great! Plenty of people love to put themselves to the test and pursue a challenge simply because it’s a big challenge. But if that’s not you, that’s okay! Things you enjoy are just as valid. There’s nothing wrong with doing the things that you like. There’s nothing wrong with having a preference.

We don’t always get to choose what we want to do, but we have more choices than we think. I see, in my role as a teacher, many students who assume that school has to be miserable no matter what. Faced with a choice, they will often pick something unpleasant because that’s what matches their idea of what things should be like. They carry the same attitude into adulthood when they go to choose their career, their partner, or a place to live.

While we all have to learn to deal with discomfort and do things we don’t particularly enjoy, suffering when you don’t have to is not noble. It’s a waste of your precious life. There are challenges aplenty even when we’re pursuing an activity we are passionate about. I would argue, also, that it’s easier to serve others when we spend more of our time engaged in activities we truly enjoy.

You don’t have to prove anything. You don’t have to be equally good at everything. Do what you like, live the way you want, and see what happens.